There is ONE THING I have learned that guides me in all my decisions involving other people.
I wish I could remember how I learned this and from whom. Perhaps it was from experience. However, I really think it was also from an assortment of teachers along the way.
Here is the truth: Find out how someone THINKS and you can predict what they are going to do.
For example: When a woman complains that she does not know if her partner is agreeable to having children – all she has to do is find out how he thinks.
She does this by “listening” to him. What is he really saying?
If he has said he never wants to have children then you know he is not going to unless he is inspired to change how he “thinks”. I use this as an example because this is the challenge I faced with my husband.
The story goes…when we were first together in 1990, he made it perfectly clear that he never wanted to be married or have children. Needless to say, we broke up because of this. Flash forward to the year 2007. We reunited and he changed his mind about marriage and children. I do believe that my talk with him about a person’s “Identity” helped with the change though.
One day I asked him if he had not been promoted at his place of employment, would he have remained there or looked for something else. He said he would have looked for something else. I explained to him… “that is because you see yourself in a higher position. That is part of your identity.”
Here’s the key that unlocked the door. I looked at him and said, “I am a mother.” A knowing came over his face and I knew something clicked. We were married in 2009 and had our son in 2010. My husband Glen also took over the role of being the father to my daughter, who was 12 at the time we got back together.
Remember: Find out how someone THINKS and you can predict what they are going to do.